Pai

 

The tiny minivan careened around another blind curve. The road to Pai from Chiang Mai contains 762 hairpin turns as you go up a mountain- this ride is not for those who get motion sickness easily. I thought I'd be fine but a third of the way up the mountain my stomach started to get upset. The view, while pretty was doing nothing for my motion sickness, there was no horizon for me to focus on. Just steep valleys filled with trees quickly replaced by tall rock faces and shacks build precariously on the edge. A tiny Korean woman behind me looked like she was ready to blow. Next, to me, the Chinese man was massaging his girlfriend's hand in between her thumb and index finger. I repeated the same act on my hand and I could feel my stomach start to calm. I asked if he had any more tips for fighting motion sickness when we stopped for a break halfway up the mountain. He gave me some tiger balm to rub under my nostrils. The remedies kept my stomach under control for the second half of our journey until at last hilly mountainous jungle gave way to a small town filled with people, motorcycles, and dogs. 

My friends from Bangkok and Chiang Mai had checked into the Pai Circus hostel the day before. I stood at the bus terminal waiting for my shuttle to arrive. While I waited I looked around the dusty street taking in my new surroundings. The air up here was very cool even though it was the middle of the day. Tourists wandered around in front of storefronts that boasted vegan foods and rasta sensibilities. When the cart arrived to pick me up I got to see the rest of the tiny town of Pai. All the buildings were short and squat made mostly out of wood tons of shops advertised handmade trinkets and yoga sessions. Pai was truly a hippy paradise nestled in the mountains.

Upon arrival at the hostel, I was taken aback by the gorgeous views of the surrounding area. The hostel itself consisted of a large open air lobby. All of the rooms were scattered around the edges of the perimeter. In the middle was a couple hammocks, a pool with a sign saying it would be fixed in one day, that was up the whole 3 nights I was there, and a covered area for the bar. While everyone else reserved a nice bungalow I tried to be cheap by staying in the shared room for one dollar less. But when I walked in and heard the floors creak underneath me I knew I had made the wrong decision. This was, however, the cheapest accommodation I had found so far so I shouldn't be surprised that I could see through the wood slats to the ground underneath. Each bed came with its own mosquito net and a solitary fan hung in the corner incapable of cooling the entire room due to its angle. I laid my belongings under my mosquito net praying to god I'd be able to sleep come nightfall. 

Mor Paeng Waterfall

I found my friends at the bar and we exchanged hugs before getting a quick bite to eat.  We went to go eat at one of the shops across the road from the hostel. There was a rooster making noise in a cage below us, tiny ants crawled across the table, and an unreliable Wi-fi password was scribbled onto the menu. As we waited for the food to arrive I learned that the previous day someone in their van had vomited all over my friends Noah's stuff during the ride. And my friend Walt got into an accident on his motorcycle as he navigated the unforgiving terrain, getting his very own Pai tattoo. 

The next day we congregated in bungalow D17 discussing our plans. The group had decided to rent motorcycles to go explore the countryside. Rooted in my fear of bikes I decided to stay back not wanting a Pai tattoo of my own. However, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I got a second chance to go with them and I decided to take it. Travel is about facing fears so I decided to not let this one stop me from having my nature adventure. I got on back of Noah's bike despite this being his first time driving a motorcycle and dug my nails into his side. The wind whipped around us as we gained speed, threatening to knock me into traffic. The town flew by us as we made our way to our first destination the Mor Paeng Waterfall.

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The paved streets soon gave way to gravel which then gave way to dirt littered with rocks. As you can imagine the suspension on the motorcycle was shit so Noah and I bounced so hard I thought we were on a mechanical bull. Fields of rice grazed my peropheral vision as cows wandered in their pastures. When we arrived at Mor Paeng my legs were a little wobbly but I was alive.  We had to climb down a trail from the road and then climb up the slippery rock face of Mor Paeng. For a second I thought I had come for nothing but I found a way to climb up the mountain without ripping my pants or dropping my camera.

Once I reached the top I saw  local Thai men doing trick jumps into the pool of water that formed at the top of the waterfall. People took turns swimming as different travel groups came and went. We chilled there for about an hour before heading off to our next destination. I climbed on the back of Noah's bike with more confidence then I had previously.

During my second ride I no longer had to hold on for dear life. I was content with my hands hovering near his waist. Ebony was taking video while sitting on the back of Kieran's bike but I wasn't that bold. We passed by a huge Pai sign and advertisements for strawberries as we headed towards the Pai Canyon. We pulled up on the side of the road next to a collection of other motorcycles and a roadside food stall. After walking up what seemed like an endless set of stairs- a large plateau greeted us with steep cliffs and bright greens contrasting against the dusty yellows and reds of the rock.

Past the trees, the mountains rose up to reach the sky on the horizon it was a beautiful view that would be great during sunset.  I sat down and looked out into the vastness of nature. Looking back this was when the seed of my love for nature was planted. 

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That night we sat on mats at a local bar- it was our last. We marveled at how we went from strangers to close friends in a matter of weeks. I couldn't imagine traveling the rest of Thailand without their humor and support.  I thought about the nature of friendships in general, how can I bring this level of openness to the "real world?" Yes backpacking and the isolation of being in a foreign country created a bond that is highly situational. But that doesn't mean that we can't carry this openness with us in our every day lives. 

 


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Fashion Meditation VII

 

 

I remembered a conversation I had at Aiiro café, while I was getting dressed for Fushimi Inari. A half Japanese half Brazilian man was telling me about how he’s seen the Tokyo fashion scene change from bright and rebellious in the late 90’s to being very safe and cookie cutter in the early 00's. He blamed the rise of fast fashion like Uniqlo, H&M, and similar stores. Now while there has been a rise in trendy poor quality pieces available in mass, there is still some individual responsibility in my opinion. I shop from stores like these and find pieces that integrate well into my wardrobe and that also will last more than a few washes. But whatever the cause I did see a lack of risk taking in the Tokyo fashion scene.

Tokyo occupies a place in the western mindset as the future of fashion and that framework is what I try and embody with my own style. I see the future of fashion as one where gender norms are thrown out the window and bodies are empowered to drape themselves in shapes and silhouettes that would make people in the 1930's gasp. When I packed for Kyoto and Nara I wanted to do something a little different from the street style looks I had worn previously. I wanted to bring a more regal and avant-garde look to the streets of these ancient capitals. 

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While Kyoto is primarily known for Fushimi Inari and the Sagano Bamboo Forrest there are plenty of other smaller sites that dot the cityscape and fill it with a rich beauty. Just a short walk from our hostel was a collection of shrines that were absolutely stunning. The sun was setting as Sejan and I came across this moat and the direction of the dwindling sunlight was perfect. I paired my favorite skirt with a shirt, from Topman. An example of using these fast fashion brands to create  a complex and beautiful outfit. I thought the graphic black and white thump print collage would provide a great contrast with the bright yellow. I choose my blue lipstick to give another pop of color. Plus yellow and blue make green so it was such a wonderful color moment. 

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Kyoto has the energy of a city that is thousands of years old. I have such a new found respect for stylists since I've been traveling the world. Finding an outfit that can fit in to space and both absorb the energy while also allowing the wearer to stand out is hard. But picking my outfit fo the Sagano Bamboo Forrest was easy. I knew that I wanted to wear my white cotton dress from Eloquii underneath my vintage African print jacket. To pay homage to my surroundings without overdoing it I chose my forrest green lipstick from called Ivy from Coloured Raine. 

 

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I wanted a simple outfit to stand against the repetition of the vermillion Torii gates. While not the most practical outfit for climbing 38 stories and hiking 4km I was definitely the best-dressed person on the mountain.  I choose my sleeveless black cape dress because I had a vision of me climbing the steps while the cape swished back and forth in the wind. I wanted to bring elegance to this historic and religious landmark. 

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The final look of my brief sojourn south was my Eloquii skirt with a vintage pleated blouse. I felt very regal while I was feeding the deer and I paired my strawberry lip from Anastasia Beverly Hills to give a warm and woodsy feeling to the overall concept. 

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Fashion Meditation III

 

When I told people that Tokyo was the first stop on my international travels everyone asked me why? The question hidden inside those three letters was: Why would a black person go to Tokyo a place where there are no other black people? Which in all honestly is a fair question. Anti blackness is global and I knew that as a traveler the color of my skin would make me stand out in ways white people typically never have to worry about.

Now I'll be honest, before I came to Tokyo I did read a lot about what being black in Asia as a whole and Japan specifically would be like- Virgo' always do their research. The results were mixed some said that it wasn't an issue in big cities but going to more rural areas might prove difficult. Other people reflected that even in big cities they faced open hostility. What I knew for sure was that I wasn't just going to Tokyo as a black person but as a black trans person. While my blackness might make me stand out my gender non-conforming presentation would be a beacon.

 I don't get stared at anymore in Tokyo from adults then I do in DC or New York . Now the group of people who are quite often surprised to see me are children under the age of 10. Which makes sense because as a homogenous culture where less than 1% of the total population is foreign they don't see a lot of difference

For those who've been following me on Instagram, link in the top right, you've noticed that I got some new hair right before I left for Tokyo. This has been my second trial with box braids and honestly so much better than the first time. My braids are much smaller this time so they don't weigh me down as much and I learned that pre-soaking your hair in an Apple Cider Vinegar solution takes off this film that makes your scalp itch. All but two Japanese people have touched my hair without permission. Otherwise people have been really respectful about asking first.

Now in the outfit above, which is my first trial at self-portraiture using my tripod, I wore my vintage Chanel jacket with a simple cotton shirt from ASOS and my favorite hat by this DC brand called Rent is Due. Sadly my hat and the braids didn't mix so I lost the hat one night while partying. 

I wore this outfit to Senso-ji Temple. I actually wandered the ground with a suitcase of 3 different outfits to change into but the area was so crowded that this was the only good spot I found to set up my tripod. Now the skirt is from my favorite plus size brand Eloquii. I really suggest checking them out. I copped the Kaya Midi Skirt in lemon shine. Normally I prefer my skirts and dresses to fall above the knee because it elongates my frame but this midi skirt looked so good on me I couldn't send it back. The top is a shirt from Asos in this gorgeous cosmic geometric pattern. You really can't see the pattern in this photo because the sun was so bright but the two look amazing together. The flats are vintage from a thrift store in Chicago. The lip is from this black owned cosmetics brand called Coloured Raine and the color is Heart of Stone.

I really like how these first to attempts at portrait photography turned out. Remember to subscribe below so you never miss another chapter in the Archives of a DivaNun!